Pam and Louis Cardenas
By Ernie Altgelt
Photography by Elizabeth Warburton
You might say that 78209 is all about family. Old families, new families, small or large — our welcoming ZIP code seemingly embraces and nurtures the joyful diversity of them all. And while there certainly is a degree of homogenization, happily for the community each individual familial group, on a deeper level, truly does prove to be unique and special in its own wonderful construction. As a compelling case-in-point, one need look no further than the very loving household that Pam and Louis Cardenas have created for themselves and especially for their beautiful and greatly appreciated daughters. No two better exemplify a mother and father who have literally “gone the distance” for their family.
In 1996, Pam and Louis were married. The happy couple looked forward to a bright future filled with professional achievement and, of greater importance, the establishment of a loving home someday filled with children. While professional success within the competitive marketing and communications industry was certainly attained through hard work and their God-given talents, because of physiological issues, parenthood unfortunately remained elusive.
After several years of “trying,” it became evident that the otherwise fortunate couple wouldn’t be able to conceive on their own. While far from devastated, they recognized that other courses were available for acquiring the family they so intensely desired. The route they chose ultimately — and literally — took the determined pair to the other side of the world.
As Louis relates, “Adoption seemed like the only solution, but we soon discovered that finding an available child locally could be a time-consuming, complicated and heart-wrenching process.”
During their research, however, Pam and Louis also heard about other childless Americans adopting Chinese children. Upon further investigation, and with awareness there would be substantial cultural, governmental and financial hurdles to overcome, this avenue offered additional hope for the fulfillment of their dream of starting a family. While unsure of the outcome, they started this process in 2001.
After extensive background and medical checks taking 18 months, the Chinese authorities finally granted the couple permission to adopt. An infant girl living in an orphanage in Guangzhou, China, was available. Traveling to China with a group of other expectant “parents,” Pam and Louis officially became a “mom and dad” in June of 2003, two days before the baby’s first birthday. They named her Trinity.
Back in San Antonio, the child, though physically perfect, required some special therapy to overcome shortcomings developed while in the orphanage. For the next three months, the parents and a therapist worked to improve the youngster’s fine motor skills, gross motor skills, speech and sensory reactions.
As Pam recalls, “At first, Trinity was flat emotionally. Then she cried for two months, but by the end of the first year, our baby was fine.” Now a well-adjusted 13-year-old, Trinity is beautifully Chinese in appearance and also pretty much an All-American young lady.
When Trinity turned 5, the Cardenases decided to seek another child from China. Restrictions on adoptions were now more rigorous, and after seven long years of waiting, it seemed like they would remain a one-child family. Then in April of last year, their adoption agency notified them about a physically healthy 13-year-old girl in need of a home.
As they recall, “Taking on a Chinese teenager who’d spent several years in an orphanage was a little scary,” but after much discussion, Pam, Louis and Trinity decided to “go for it.” And they’re very happy they did.
The girl’s name is KeLi (pronounced Kelly), and amazingly, she was living in the same Guangzhou orphanage where Trinity had stayed.
As Pam remembers, “Imagine the fear this young lady must have felt being asked to go with strangers to a foreign land.” Louis further iterates, “It was her choice, and thankfully for us, she decided to join our family.”
Today, after a year of adjustment that required not only learning a new language, alien customs, and getting to know some very supportive parents and a tickled new sister, all is progressing nicely for KeLi. Trinity helps her older sister with teen-style English; KeLi teaches Trinity traditional Chinese songs. Both girls attend mainstream schools, and as further assimilation for KeLi continues, life within the Cardenas household becomes more ‘09ish by the day. But that just goes to show what can happen when you “go the distance.”
